May-Barb

Does anyone know where funny people come from? When I was young I probably would have said that funny people came from a magical land called NBC on Thursday nights. But now older and far more delusional, I know that funny people come from an enchanting swamp land, where the air cooks you to a slow boil,  the mosquitoes feed on you like Vampire Bill, and old people live FOREVER. My friend Barb is from this mythical place called Florida and she IS one of the funniest people I know. Although spawned there, she cultivated her craft as a young smart-ass on the mean streets of Hawaii, then perfected her wit as a lovely spitfire back in Gainsville. I met Barb (or Missy as her mother and I like to call her) in 2000 while working on Survivor. I was a year out a of college, pretty sheltered and I played innocent very well. Barb saw right through it...and well...I thought she was totally cool straight away.

She's even cooler now! She's an agent and she knows all kinds of famous people. I drop her name and career here and there, hoping it gives me some clout. But make no mistake about it, Barb works her ass off. Being an agent is hard work, it's definitely not all glamour. She reads legal contracts all day, yells at managers all night, all while stroking the egos of Hollywood's A-Listers, B-Listers and even those who wish they were D-Listers. Some days I think she could make Ari Gold poop his pants.

Through the years Barb and I have had many adventures, some that our blackouts barely allow us to remember (Samoa), some that we wish to forget (Samoa). But through everything, we had laughter. Maybe a couple of bottles of champagne as well, but always laughter. If I ever end up in jail...please bring enough money to bail her out too. She's such a good friend I'm sure she was just taking the fall for something I did :-)

Barb is also very considerate. She's never seen something in purple on EBay that she didn't consider buying. (insert funny drum tap here) She is the Queen Bee. And EBay is her kingdom. She can sell most anything for a great price and buy most everything for an even better price. She once ordered a grab bag full of rings and gave me one that was too small for her. (My ONE thing that is smaller than Barb) She bought a pair of heels that were too big for her, even with the extra padding, and she just gave them to me. Another time she bought a pair of black boots. Again too big. The seller said it would be cheaper for her to get another pair in her size than to send them back...so she gave me the larger size. That's right...GAVE. (needless to say, we both had to put the boots outside for about a week when we realized they reeked of gasoline!) They are really cute and they look good on both of us, especially when we accidentally wear them to the same party.

So with all of her negotiating skills and generosity, Barb was a perfect candidate to shop for me. She does so great when it's her money...I figured she would do great when it's mine!
Barb and Jen fought for the month of May. It almost came to blows and an all out war....well not really, but I was chanting "Two Men Enter, One Man Leaves!!" They didn't buy into my made-up feud. In the end, Jen went to Italy for a month and had to give the month up to Barb. (Italy was a pretty good trade if you ask me!)

So Barb went to work on her EBay skills...making offers and watching items. I'm told she missed out on a few gems, but she also went on other sites and stores and got me some really great items!

Barb is a really great friend. She makes me laugh, smile, raise my eye brows, giggle, grin, slap my knee -  you name it. She is my crazy redhead Lucy, to me, her (never innocent) side kick Ethel. I know she loves me when she calls me Lola, and I know she STILL loves me when I say something dumb and she pats my head and says "Awe. You're pretty." Funny people are special and I'm glad to have a special friend in Barb. Thanks B. Love you!

April - My Birthday!!!

I have really great friends, with some of the most giving hearts. Many have done so much for charity. Helping refugees in Ghana, riding for AIDS, walking for Alzheimer's and sorting food for the hungry. Most recently my friends Andi and Jen decided to forgo birthday presents. Instead they asked friends to donate to a water charity in Africa.....well thank God that trend didn't start until August, cause I got a crap load of CLOTHES for my birthday in April!!!WOOHOOO!!!

Don't judge...I do my part for charity too! But birthday's are special...and I like me some pressies!!

Since I had already started this year long project of personal shoppers, most of my friends decided to buy me clothes for my birthday. And let me tell you....I hit the jackpot!! Paul went a little overboard...but that usually goes without saying. I got a lot of dresses, some super hot heels, and a granny sweater that I want to live in everyday. I'm terrible at Thank You cards...so hopefully this makes up for it. Thanks Guys!!! I loved my birthday presents!!

From Ami

From Ami

From Andi

From Marina - and she hates to shop too! :-)

From Amanda

From Amanda

From Autumn

From Tim & Vanessa

From Tim & Vanessa

From Jazmin

From Paul

From Paul

From Paul

From Paul

From Paul

From...you guessed it....Paul!!

 Thank you Everyone!!! Love Laura

April - Amanda

Have you ever met someone and almost instantly become BFFs? I have a lot of close friends, as you'll be able to see as the year goes on, but besides walking up to Carrie Watson on the first day of  kindergarten and straight up asking her if she wanted to be best friends, this doesn't happen often. (Congrats to Carrie by the way - she's gonna be a Momma soon!) So imagine my surprise when I interviewed this very pretty, giddy and funny blonde girl from ULV (go Leos) for a job on The Restaurant and I not only gave her the job but a big hug at the end of our first meeting!!! I can honestly say, without question that Amanda Stutevoss Coppola was my friend from the start.

Now mind you it's been over 8 years since we met, so my memory of this is really fuzzy AND she was one of the first people I EVER interviewed so I was extremely nervous. What I do remember is not the interview, but the very first day she started work. I ended up not needing her on my show, so I passed her  on to Survivor. She comes in and just as she's about to get trained with a bunch of other people, I walk over, we basically squeal at each other and then hug. Our life after that first day sounds very much like a typical Rom-Com, or at the very least a cooler version of Crossroads with Britney Spears. We spent almost everyday that summer together -  working late hours, goofing off, hanging out, meeting new boys, spending way too much money at OPEN BAR parties, and then just like that she moved in with Jaz and me! It was Kismet.

Just to be fair, this is what Amanda remembers from the interview since I don't...I was apparently wearing a white tunic shirt, my hair was curly and I gave her a big hug at the end of the interview. Now I ask you....If she can remember what the hell I was wearing 8 years ago when we first met, why wouldn't I ask her to shop for me?! Especially since I think I still have that white tunic!

Now think way back to earlier this year when I was "Right on top of that Rose," and wrote my March entry for Ami, you'll remember that she was all about "The Look For Less" - shopping under the tightest of budgets. Well just throw that right out the window, because we are talking about Amanda and this concept is completely unnatural to her. (Sorry Dave, but I'm pretty sure you knew this before you married her :-). Amanda is not a sales type of girl. The Heart wants what the Heart wants...and Amanda has never entered a Macy's she did not Heart. Before I even handed Amanda the money for April she asked me if she could contribute, because $150 was guaranteed to only buy me one thing! And well...she kind of wasn't kidding! Amanda ended up spending about $60 of her own money!! That's my girl!! (Or Dave's - whatever)

Amanda is one busy woman! She is a loving wife to Dave, a devoted mother to beautiful one year old Molly Jo and she was the post supervisor on Swamp People (the #1 show on History). So it's safe to say that Amanda doesn't have a lot of time. She, like many working women these days, does most of her shopping online. And although she usually has great success with this, everything she ordered for me came in too big. In total she had to return about 20 things before I even saw them!! She was however, able to give me a pair of grey skinny stretch jeans in May, but with all the returns my final pieces were delayed. I think it was frustration that finally got to her, or maybe it was Dave making fun of her for taking so long, so she made the decision to take a day off from work and just head to the mall! Now that's dedication!! (I think she bought herself a few thing as well, but that's besides the point). A couple of days later I was trying on a super cute Marc Jacobs striped dress and a colorful summer dress covered in dots - and they both fit perfectly!!

Amanda is a terrific friend. Don't ask her to stick around if someone breaks into your apartment...but a terrific friend none the less :-). Shes' a great person to talk to, she has watched every episode of Oprah, so she has wonderful advice to give, and I give her sole credit for making me comfortable saying the words I Love You. "I love you" was something I felt, but never said. I had written it on plenty of Valentine cards and in a fan letter to Bruce Willis, but never said it to the people that mattered most. Amanda felt comfortable to say it before every departure: phone, email and in person. It was easy. It was comforting. It was true. I now say it often to my family and my dear friends, because it's nice to hear and it's nice to know. So Amanda....thank you and I Love You - I can finally throw that white tunic away :-) jk!

Like Eminem - Cleanin Out My Closet

Sometime late last year I mentioned to my friend Andi that I was wearing an old shirt to work. How old?? "Hmm...let's see....I bought it when I was a sophomore in high school." She then proceeded to berate me on how I can't do that. I told her it was still in good condition. It's not like it had holes or was worn through. She said it didn't matter it was totally out of style. Mind you, we were talking over AIM/Email (can't remember which), so she couldn't even see it. Then she asked me to describe it. Ribbed, gray, crew neck, long sleeve. Andi: Ribbed??!! OMG! Laura!!!! (or something to that effect).
Me: Fine!!! Okay!! I need new clothes!! Jeez!!

I think this was when I walked into my closet to assess my wardrobe. I LOVE my closet by the way. It's the real reason I moved into my apartment, and why I can never think about leaving it. It's large. No I mean LARGE. And has tons of space for my shoes and purses. But I clearly don't utilize it to it's full potential. Hanging clothes has never been my preference. I really prefer to fold. But I'm working on it. I even started hanging my jeans....which were folded in a drawer (on a good day). They were usually thrown over my big red chair. So I cleaned out the chamber a few weeks ago, then took a twirl in all it's spacious glory.

In the hours it took me to clean my room and as I hung things properly on (WIRE!!) hangers I recalled another of Andi's lectures..."You have to throw one thing out for every new thing you get." There are some things that I hope to never part with, like my denim overalls. Don't judge! I haven't worn them in YEARS! But I just can't seem to let them go. They were my "go to" outfit in college. They went perfectly with my red velvet platform creepers....another thing I will NEVER throw out. But I was diligent and I started pulling stuff off the racks that should have gone long ago, and things that just should have never been purchased.

It doesn't look like much, but this pile filled two kitchen size trash bags to their stretchable limit. I planned on donating these New To You Goodies to the Los Angeles Downtown Women's Center a couple of months ago...but a free Saturday morning has been hard to come by lately. So those blue 909 platform flip-flops and green suede Vans sit at the top of the stairs, along with that tan corduroy blazer from Old Navy, until some day later this year.

So Andi....this is for you! More than 1 item in exchange for every new thing I will get this year. But don't you dare touch my white Doc Martins. I won't give them up!! Some things are just Sacred!!

P.S. I actually pulled out those Velcro water shoes last Friday for my weekend of white water rafting. Apparently I need to keep those now.

The Real Reason: I'm Lazy

It's been a long time....I know! It's nearly August and I still haven't posted pics from April...I'm terrible. (although I will give myself a tiny out, by saying I didn't get some of my April clothes until last month.) BUT STILL, it's not the real excuse for my lack of activity on this blog. I got tons of clothes for my birthday (in April)...and it was my intention to comment on them, but well ya know, and most of you do know....I'm super LAZY.

And I think this is the main reason why I Hate Shopping. It takes a lot of energy to squarer racks of clothes, hunt like buried treasure to find the right size, then peel off your current wardrobe in a closet with a crappy curtain, that curls wrong on one end to partially reveal all of your problem areas illuminated by bad lighting. Not to mention having to deal with Jamie, who keeps coming back every five seconds to ask you if you need anything else, or if you want a belt, or need another size. "Jaime don't you have some shirts to fold somewhere!? Please go away."

Hmm, now that I think about it...maybe it's not Laziness. That little rant sounds more like I'm really impatient. It's not that I hate crowds or the people that work at the stores....or maybe it is. Most of them can be idiots. I once went to Banana Republic because I had about $300 worth of gift cards there. Decided that I would go through every rack with a fine tooth comb. I must have had about 8 articles in my arm when a saleswoman asked if I wanted to start a room. Sure, I said and handed my pile over. I looked around for another 20 minutes or so. In total I probably strolled around for an hour. I was finally satisfied with myself and my complete search. I went back to the dressing rooms and asked where my room was. And what do you know....they had put everything back. I can't remember what my initial reaction was...but I'm quite sure I gave them an evil glare, said that I'd been looking for over 2 hours (complete exaggeration), and then stormed out in utter frustration.
I don't do very well with bad customer service. A sure sign that I'll be a cranky ole bitch when I retire.

But back to my initial excuse: Laziness. I still think it's the root of my distaste for shopping. I like to lay about the couch and watch TV for hours on end. I like to make lists of goals that I should really accomplish, but always allow something shiny to distract me from their completion. I've had it in my head for months to take photos of all of the birthday clothes I received from my awesome friends, but then I think..."oh wait the ONE item is dirty. I should really wait until everything is clean before I pull out that camera." But it's not like I put up an umbrella light and a back drop or something. I turn on my closet light, take out my camera that is ALWAYS in my purse, point and shoot. But the entire task of doing that seems so daunting when Friday Night Lights and Coach Taylor's blue eyes are waiting for me on my DVR.

Anyway....this is my pledge of sorts, to try and be better about posting photos and write ups in the coming weeks. Although Season 4 of Sons of Anarchy starts soon, and Charlie Hunnman will be my excuse next month if I haven't posted anything new.

Love Laura

March 5

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March 1